A million miles away.......

Anyone who volunteers abroad knows how difficult it can be away from family when you are struggling with the task you have been handed. Most of us probably just want a hug from our parents and to be told everything is okay. However, when something life changing is happening within your family at home it makes you feel like you are millions of miles away.

This is how I felt when the only way of decent contact was through texting.

I knew my mum would try and make everything sound like it wasn’t that bad but on the other hand I also knew my older sister would tell me how it actually was.

On the 26^th December just after a month of volunteering at TLC I got a message that no one ever wants to receive.

My dad (your granddad) is really ill and wants to go home to heaven.

My brothers and sisters are all round to say goodbye to him.

I just wanted you to be kept up to date

Love you loads

Dad….

This was extremely difficult to process but thankfully I was teamed up with another lovely volunteer for our second night of nightshift.

That night I felt angry- not angry at my family but angry with God at the fact that all of this had happened and I was so far away. I knew in my heart that my Granddad would want me to stay strong but it all seemed impossible as I didn’t know the full extent of what was going on.

After 5 more days of the unknown and messages being sent back and forth my night shift finally came to an end. During this night shift I would sleep for an hour or two during the day then wash and go back to Main house. I stayed there as much as possible because my phone only worked on Wifi and I didn’t want to get any news about my Granddads health hours after it was sent to me. When I ventured out of TLC someone would always come with me and I gave there number to my older sister so that she could contact them in an emergency. I always felt on edge with my phone constantly attached to me.

Things at home took a turn for the worse I was told that the doctors said there was nothing else they could do for him. – I remember sitting at the table and bursting in to tears my heart completely shattered.

Later that day a few of the volunteers took me out to the shops to try to distract me but it was there that I received a call from my daddy. It went something along the lines of: I've brought you a ticket home. Im coming in a couple of hours. I'll see you tomorrow mid day.

I was confused, shocked, exhausted but in my heart it didn’t feel right just abandoning TLC like that with less staff at a time of need. So I rung my dad back up and explained the situation and he cancelled the tickets. My father is the most loving person and would do anything for us children when we are in need, however the timing just didn’t feel right. Part of me still questions my decision!

I also didn’t want anything to happen to my granddad whilst my dad was on the plane or in south Africa as that would have made me feel more guilty as they were so close.

The messages where constantly saying that they had been told he only has hours left but my granddad is a true fighter.

On Thursday the 4^th of January after another volunteer arriving I decided it was time that I could leave so my loving parents booked me flight home for Saturday the 6^th of January. I was an emotional mess and anyone at TLC can say that too!

On the 5^th of January during the day it was planned that one of the girls was going out for her 20^th birthday but I just couldn’t bring myself to go even though it was my last evening in south Africa something once again didn’t feel right.

 I prayed to God that he would give granddad enough strength to survive the night so that I could say my final goodbyes when I returned home.

Shortly after they left to go out I returned back to my cottage to pack up a few more of my belongings that I had just washed when a massive thunderstorm came overhead and cut the power out. I was told by another volunteer that it probably wouldn’t turn on for around four hours and I was truly at breaking point but suddenly the power turned back on!

I left everything at the cottage and ran with my phone in hand back to Main house but the Wifi still hadn’t returned. So I asked one of the guys to turn on his hotspot.

With that I received a phone call so I ran to where it was quiet and where the service is normally perfect but all I could hear was my Daddy’s voice hurting on the other end of the phone. I couldn’t hear what he was actually saying but knew in my heart that it was the end. I completely broke down I cried and cried and cried.  It was at this point that I realised just how amazing everyone is at TLC!

In times of hurt and pain they make you feel so safe and secure I felt a sense of peace within me that I didn’t think I would ever feel again. Mumma Thea gave me the biggest hug that evening that I will never forget- it was just what I needed!

Being so far away from family felt like it was impossible to deal with at the beginning of the rollercoaster ride with my granddads health but even though I was hurting beyond words can explain something just felt peaceful knowing that my granddad was with God in heaven. TLC taught me so much whilst being miles away from my family at such a difficult time and I am forever grateful for the support and help they gave me through that emotional time. 

Learning Life at TLC!

Life goes by fast at TLC when you are surrounded by love laughter and happiness. It is definitely not the easiest thing to do with the long work hours and short breaks but it is well worth it to see these children being so loved and taken care off with huge smiles on there faces. My first month at TLC was crazy from being told I was getting training for the first two days of me arriving to jumping straight into TLC life the following morning at 6am.
I got a early wake up when the other volunteers knocked on more door at 5:30 in the morning explaining to me that the training wasn't happening and that I was incharge of 6 grubs who where from the age of 7 months to a year for the morning routine. This routine included waking up, bottles, baby cereal, bathing and change time then finally putting them all back into there beds for a nap.
This would have been easy however they missed one important piece of information - I was alone!
The crazy thing was I had only met these children the evening before so I barely even knew there names... and I was now incharge of them all.
It was all going peacefully until I realised the bathroom where the baths where was nowhere near the grubs room! Carrying 6 babies into a bathroom bathing then changing them can be a bit hectic when your all alone and you can't leave them in two different rooms at once.
Luckily my dad came to help out towards the end of my shift with the grubs then helped out for the rest of that week as TLC was short of volunteers. We would start at 6am have a couple hours break if we we're lucky then work past 7pm as 7pm was our finishing time but we wait till all the babies and children in our group are asleep to help nightshift out whilst they complete wishy washy.
Wishy washy is different for nightshift to day shift as you have to try to complete more tasks:
cleaning the bobbit
sweeping and mopping floors
washing drying and folding laundry
washing up and sterilising bottles, teats and cutlery
changing sterilization buckets
making sure kitchen is tidy
cleaning out fridge
bins including the nappy bin and slop bucket for pigs

-All whilst babies are waking up and screaming
The nesties need feeding every  3-4 hours
If a baby wakes up they need rocking back to sleep
and bottles and breakfast need to be made for the following morning.

Once I got to know all the babies Names, Likes and Dislikes I was then able to complete nightshift. This is where you get to learn the different babies cries so you can run to them quickly with the correct milk bottle or dummy. It was a serious learning curve when you know what they love and hate it makes life a whole lot easier.
Life at TLC can alternate between being the most peaceful place to the craziest it all depends on your daily schedule. We are given our schedule the night before so that we can prepare ourselves for the following day- The first few weeks I was basically changing between grubs and wishy washy whilst getting to know all the other babies and children ranging in age between a couple of days old to ten years.
It was the best way to get to know everyone at TLC by just jumping straight into life in Johannesburg as I picked up the daily routines quicker and settled in faster :)